There's less than a month left until I turn legal, and as I promised myself, I would get my learner's before the end of April and I haven't even once attempted to crack open the book. Tomorrow I'm probably gonna drag my mother along to get my BCID, since there's no way I'm going to be carrying my passport every time I have to pick up liqs or to a 19+ venue.
I've been thinking about things lately. Love, life, my future and why things are the way they are right now. Not exactly the best time to do so since finals are just around the corner and I HAVE to pass both my courses or else I'm gonna end up being some washed up-minimum wage cashier. Honest to god, I came to a conclusion that I am not a school person at all. Nothing I'm learning seems to grasp my interest even one bit. During the beginning of every year/semester/term/whatever I tell myself, "Okay, I'm going to try hard and do better in school", but that always goes down the drain. Secretly, I want to go to makeup artistry or beauty school or something, since makeup is such a big interest and hobby to me. The only problem is that my father obviously isn't going to approve of that... at all.
I remember when I wanted to apply for the tourism co-op program at Capilano since it seemed pretty interesting and all that when I took tourism in highschool, but my father kept saying that it was just a "bullshit thing to do" and I'm not gonna get a good career out of it. I had the biggest fight with him that day. Then I told him I was going to apply for criminology and go into law and whatnot, and that pleased him. I didn't know why, but I felt so upset to the point where I just started crying. Then he just said that I was being stupid crying over something small like that. Now I realized that I knew why I was crying. I wasn't happy (obviously), and I feel like it's so hard making my father feel proud of me, and I always feel like every decision I chose is being frowned upon.
